School Bullying: A Case Study Facing the Deadly Consequences
Who Are These Bullies?
Bullying is a consistent pattern of control and aggression against other kids. Bullies are often the school athletes or popular girls, considered charismatic leaders by peers and adults. This skill, sometimes masked as a positive leadership trait, can be used by those who are socially savvy and, therefore, misread by many adults. Bullies perceive themselves to be in charge and the authority for others to follow. They are king or queen of their social group and no one dare's challenge them for fear of retaliation. Their control may be through physical confrontation but often it through verbal comments in front of others or anonymous postings in cyberspace. The vicious and unrelenting attacks are growing in many of our communities because the schools are ill-prepared to handle this style of behavior, and the parents of the victimized children have had little success using the school authorities. All too often the children under attack find no other solution or escape but death. Their anxiety mounts as they see no way to combat the attacks. In an alarming number of
bullying and cyberbullying instances,
the victims have committed suicide as a their means of escaping the verbal brutality. This is unacceptable.
What are the Misconceptions About Today's School Bullying?
1. Kids will be kids and do what kids do. There are those adults who still consider that the kids are all just trading barbs with each other. Mean behavior cannot be a way to get the "right people" to like you at the expense of others. 2. They will grow out of it as they mature. Bullies may feel that this behavior is ok because they have been victims themselves. So now they are looking for followers or "wannabes" who will emulate this distructive behavior. Instead of growing out of these behavior traits, the bullies learn to hone their skills so that adults are unaware of the harm they are inflicting on others. 3. They are just being nice to others. Actually, these bullies learn to be great controllers who manipulate other children with ease, threatening severe consequences for telling anyone.
If you think that your child may be a victim of
bullying or cyberbullying,
contact the school officials and meet to determine an action plan to stop the attacks. Check with your school to learn what bullying policy is being enforced by the school. Engage teachers, principals and superintendents to make certain that they develop a strategy to curtail future attacks. Get involved with your community to publicly denounce this form of behavior in the schools and develop a parent network of support to enlighten others to understand the deadly consequences of bullying and to make certain that students are aware that bullying behavior will not be tolerated and engaging in such behavior will have serious consequences.
Sideaner Walker had eleven year old son, Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover. He tragically took his life when he could no longer endure the constant harassment and verbal abuse. This included anti-gay slurs and being called the f-word. This took place at school. Yet Carl had never identified himself as being either gay or straight. He was eleven! His solution was to take an extension cord and hang himself in his bedroom. While school officials knew about this tormenting episodes, they believed that this was merely everyday kid's play.
Carl was a mother's dream: scholar athlete and regular attendee at church. His goal was to attend college. Now, since his death, and in his honor, Ms Walker honors her son and his memory by raising awareness about the dangers of school bullying and the need for creating a safe and respectful learning environment. Listen to what Sideaner Walker advises parents and the community, as she talks about the need to pass the Safe Schools Improvement Act.
is an excellent reference for parents who are concerned about the many situations the children negotiate during their school years. Rosalind Wiseman has excellent recommendations for parents.
