The GIFT of Respectful Communication

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The GIFT of Respectful Communication

by Jill Mazza, MABC, CPC
Corporate Communications Trainer and Certified Professional Coach

The holidays present us with opportunities to give and receive gifts that reflect sentiment, love, and admiration. A great deal of time, energy, and money often go into holiday gift giving. Yet, the holiday gifts we give and receive do not necessarily have to be material. Spending quality time and communicating authentically and respectfully with people can be gifts in themselves. So, when we do spend time and energy communicating with people, we want to be our best self.

Against the pretty backdrop of mistletoe and menorahs, holiday gatherings, activities, and schedules often become hectic and overwhelming. Emotions tend to run higher than usual when we’re feeling run down and stressed out. A festive family dinner or annual office party may include a certain someone who gets under our skin and triggers negative emotions that seem to overtake our behavior. Conversations can quickly become tense, uncomfortable, and even escalate into conflict. We may lash out, say too much or too little, slam a door, or stomp off during an interpersonal interaction. Then, emotional regret follows us. We later wish we could erase what we said or did and instead conduct ourselves more gracefully. We wish we had communicated with more control, clarity, and confidence.

How often do you regret conversations or interactions with loved-ones or co-workers? How often do you allow your emotions to take over and stop you from being your best self?

Increasing self-awareness and improving specific communication skills helps us to better manage our emotions, control our behavior, and turn conflict into more constructive conversations with less stress and fewer regrets.

And, let’s be realistic. All the self-awareness in the world will not change the fact that during family gatherings you and your cousin can’t agree on anything from parenting approaches, to how to balance the federal budget, to crunchy or creamy peanut butter. Or, that at the beginning of the holiday office soirée your boss announces a colleague’s promotion to the position you were promised right after she thanks you for all your hard work and dedication to the company. In cases like these, self-awareness combined with effective communication skills and self-discipline can make challenging relationship dynamics and difficult situations more manageable. Changing and controlling other people is not our responsibility. However, we can choose to respectfully communicate our own beliefs and feelings in the heat of demanding moments.

Respectful communication involves the ability to effectively assert our own views and fully listen to the views of others. Giving the gift of respectful communication during tough interpersonal interactions demonstrates our ability to self-manage and contributes to more healthy and productive relationships.

Consider the following tips for respectful communication:

If you find yourself in the midst of escalating conflict this holiday season -- STOP. Take a breath and think about giving the gift of respectful communication in that moment. Respectful communication is free and can be a gift that keeps on giving. We often get what we give. By choosing to communicate respectfully, we can fully leverage our internal gifts of control, clarity, and confidence to reflect our most authentic, best self.

Happy Holidays!

About Jill Mazza:
Jill Mazza is a consulting corporate communications trainer and Certified Professional Coach based in Minneapolis, MN. Jill’s coaching practice focuses on helping clients to communicate with increased control, clarity, and confidence so that professional and personal performance is maximized and relationship dynamics are more healthy and productive.

For more information about coaching with Jill, visit mazzacoaching.com, email jill@mazzacoaching.com, or call 917.602.6042.

© 2010 Jill Mazza Coaching. All Rights Reserved.

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